


Stranger Danger

by Luneth



Category: Starlight Brigade - TWRP ft. Dan Avidan (Music Video), TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Dramatic Irony, Gen, Humor, this is silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luneth/pseuds/Luneth
Summary: One day the Starlight Brigade finds a random human wandering around their shared dorm area. None of them know who he is or what he's doing there, but they know this:- He's allowed to be there. He has an ID card.- He knows them. He called Strive by name.- He apparently studies Theoretical Physics.Concerned and curious, they decide to keep an eye on him, just in case he makes a certain ninja angry or something.Say, where is Brian, anyway?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> This is silly. It's just silly. The only reason it's rated T is because there's like One swear in it (and Meouch talks about eating humans I guess).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strive finds a stranger in the common room.

It was another ordinary day on Mothership when Strive ran into a stranger in the brigade’s common area.

There were many, many people on Mothership, probably more than the entire population of Mobieus, but this was his team’s like…little common area place, right next to their dorms. The other sectors had their own little common areas. At least, as far as Strive knew.

So what was this stranger doing sitting on the couch in their living room, pouring over some papers with a mug of coffee in one hand?

Strive timidly inched a bit closer. The man—Strive thought it was male—had pale tan-colored skin like Sung or Brian, short hair, two eyes. Maybe he was a friend of one of the others?

Just as Strive was about to work up the courage to speak, the stranger turned his head to look straight at him. He didn’t smile, but that was ok; facial gestures varied a lot between species. However, he had this unnerving, piercing glare, the kind that made it really hard for Strive to ask questions.

“Uhhhhm…” Strive raised one hand in greeting. “H-Hi…?” The stranger nodded, and his mouth pressed together a bit, maybe as a greeting.

“Strive, hey,” he said, then went back to his work. Strive blinked, blinked again, then opened his mouth to ask _just how exactly did this stranger know his name what the fuck-_

The stranger took a sip of coffee, and Strive went pale with the realization that it was Brian’s preferred mug. This stranger was taunting death, truly. The stranger looked back at Strive and quirked an eyebrow.

“Need something?”

Strive closed his mouth, then silently backed up out of the room and into the hallway. He kept going until he was halfway back to his room before he whirled around and frantically punched the button on his communicator.

“Sung!” He whispered. “There’s a stranger in the common room!”

000

“Well, he’s a human.” Sung gestured back toward the common room. The brigade had convened in the music room. Well, all except Brian. They didn’t know where he was right now, and had tacitly decided not to bring a potential interloper to his attention.

“Here’s what I found out,” Sung counted off on his fingers. “He _is_ allowed to be in here. I saw his ID. He knows us. He told me Havve’s joint needed fixing, and he was right.” He tapped at Havve’s now repaired joint. “Also, those papers he was pouring over involved some kind of theoretical physics and space travel. Advanced stuff.”

“What’s his name?” Phobos asked. Sung shook his head.

“I didn’t see his ID close enough to read it.”

“So he’s either here to fix some machinery, or a really gutsy spy.” Meouch rubbed his chin in thought. “Has anyone just, asked him?”

“Well-” Sung propped his hands on his hips with a scowl. “-that could be rude. We don’t want to make him feel unwelcome. Not to mention he knows us by name…” He shot Meouch a look. “Are you _sure_ you don’t recognize him from…some festivity or another?”

“Geez!” Meouch growled and slapped at his forehead. “That was one time, guys!”

Havve tilted his head to the side and made a beeping noise. Sung nodded along.

“Havve suggests he’s lost. Possible, I suppose?” He nodded to himself, then tapped his fist into his hand. “Ok, here’s the plan. We’ll keep an eye on him, just to make sure he doesn’t run into any, er-” He glanced over at the door. “-trouble. And if we find out why he’s here in the process, problem solved! That said-” Sung frowned and pointed at Meouch. “Meouch, you will not eat him.” Meouch snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Of course not,” he paused, then added in a hopeful tone, “-even if he does turn out to be a spy?”

“Havve,” Sung ignored Meouch’s question as he turned to him. “-you watch him first. Also if you see Brian, can you have him call me? We should…warn him eventually.”

“Someone should wash the mug,” Strive whispered, “-before Brian notices.” They all nodded with grave expressions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strive sees a person he doesn't recognize and is immediately like "Hey daaaaaad?!"
> 
> Meouch: We could-  
> Sung: Put the guacamole away, Meouch.
> 
> Bold of them to assume they could hide a stranger in their area from Brian. Luckily, it's not actually a problem.


	2. Observance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Brigade watches their guest closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all Meouch's fault. They're too scared to reveal they don't know who the human is because of what happened last time.

Thus began the brigade’s mission to observe, and potentially protect, the stranger they had dubbed simply as Human.

Havve stood in the hallway, watching as Human walked along, coming toward him. Human looked around a lot as he walked, at the walls, ceiling and floor. It was probable that Human was lost, like Phobos had suggested. Potentially, human could also be on maintenance crew, and was checking the halls for signs of damage.

Human was approaching Havve. Havve was standing still, but it was likely Human still knew he was there, since Havve was large. Havve decided to stand very still, to lessen the chance of scaring human.

Human looked at Havve, looked at his repaired joint, then nodded and kept walking. Havve sensed Human’s heartbeat. Even tempo. Very healthy. Good. Good rhythm. Could be used for drumbeat. Also, did not speed up when approaching Havve. Human did not fear.

Havve’s software was not optimized for facial recognition, but his memories did not provide any familiarity with Human. But Human familiar with Havve, familiar enough to know about joints and to not fear Havve.

Mystery increases.

000

Phobos was not particularly bothered by their guest. He was quiet, didn’t cause trouble, didn’t seem hostile. If he was some worker from another branch, he’d welcome him and let him do his thing. If he was there for some other (non-threatening) reason, still welcome him. No need to get over-excited. Phobos was just going to practice his guitar in the music room, as he usually did.

Speak of the stars, Human appeared in the doorway. Phobos looked up, then raised one hand in greeting.

“Too loud?” Phobos asked. “I can practice in my room.”

Human shook his head and flashed him a thumbs-up before he turned and made a beeline straight for-Oh no.

Phobos didn’t manage to speak up in time as Human reached out and laid a hand on Brian’s electric keyboard. And then, in an awe-inspiring and terrifying gesture of brazenness, Human reached out and flicked it on.

You didn’t just…touch Brian’s keyboard. You didn’t even brush against it or nudge it to the side to clean the floor. You gave it wide berth and respect lest the ninja turned out to be directly behind you, with a knife.

Phobos couldn’t help but flinch as Human set his fingers down on the keys, drawing out a clear ring of notes. Guitar hanging from its strap, Phobos could only watch, mute, as Human fiddled with this and that on the keyboard. Testing the notes, checking the dials and electronics, turning it on and off a few times. Finally, he stood behind it and, his fingers moving skillfully and quickly, tapped out a rapid, high-energy melody. It only lasted a few seconds before he leaned back, nodded in satisfaction, then shut the keyboard off and walked out of the room.

Phobos was pretty sure he had just seen a person hip-check Death itself in a grocery store register line, steal their tortilla chips, and walk out the door unharmed because Death was still trying to find their point card.

Slowly, very slowly, he brought his communicator up to his face. “Sung?” He called out. “Have you found Brian yet?”

“Not yet!” Sung announced. “His ship is in the hangar, so he’s around here somewhere…why?”

“I don’t think Human is going to last,” Phobos told him solemnly. “He’s either very, very lucky or doomed beyond redemption.”

“…Pardon?”

“Hang on, I need to sit down.”

000

Meouch was not scared of any interloper.

He faced Human who was presently back on the couch, back at his papers, drinking out of  _ another _ one of Brian’s favorite mugs. Gutsy, Meouch could respect that. Also, he hadn’t given Meouch much more than a quick glance before focusing back on his work. Gutsy indeed.

“Hey!” Meouch plopped down next to him. “Whatcha up to?”

“Researching theories for more effective space travel.” Human didn’t look up as he muttered the answer before taking another sip of coffee. “I’m going to take a look at your ship later.”

Meouch blinked. “Are you, now?” He asked. Human nodded, as if this were obvious. “You…some kind of engineer, then?”

“I’ll just take some measurements, then send the data to the engineering branch,” Human answered. Meouch’s face screwed up. That indicated…Human was  _ not _ part of the engineering branch, himself. Curiouser and curiouser.

Meouch laughed and slung an arm around his shoulders. Just a little too tight, bringing his teeth in a little too close. “You some brainiac like Sung?” He asked, then reached for some of the papers to take a better look.

He found a hand planted directly in his face before he was forcibly shoved away. He reared back in astonishment. Human grimaced in annoyance, then (was Meouch seeing this right?) he rolled his eyes.

Human dropped his hand and went back to his work. Meouch sat there, just staring at him. This guy looked pretty plain, clean shaven with not even a scar or a piercing, but there had been some strength behind that push, not to mention the guts to not be intimidated by Meouch.

Who was this guy?

So Meouch did the only thing he could do. He hunched down, crossed his arms, and sulked, sneering at Human from his side off the couch. Human glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, then went back to his work, utterly unintimidated.

000

Sung hummed to himself as he finished up inspection of his ship. Everything was, pardon the pun, shipshape if he did say so himself.

He gave the hull an affectionate tap with the wrench in his hand before he nudged the hatch closed. Then, spinning around to head back, he found Human standing a mere two feet in front of him, watching him intently.

“Guh?!” Sung leapt backwards and barely managed to avoid high kicking their visitor’s head off. “Oh! Er, hello! You…” He tried to nonchalantly adjust himself back into a casual pose. “You’re…pretty quiet, getting around, huh?”

Human stared at him blankly for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, guess so.” Sung gave him a (somewhat forced) chuckle.

“So, er, can I help you with something?”

“16 mm.” Human held his out. Without knowing what else to do, Sung found himself handing over the wrench without a word. Then Human did something odd. He spun the wrench around over his fingers and around the back of his hand before he palmed it, nodded in thanks, then walked off. Sung cocked his head to the side, watching him go. There had been something strangely familiar about that gesture.

…Also, what was he going to do with that wrench, exactly? He appeared to be heading off across the hanger, right toward-

“Ahhhhangonjustamoment!” Sung loped after him in several quick strides and grabbed him hard by the shoulder. Human’s head jerked over to face him with bewilderment. Sung offered an apologetic grin as he forcibly steered him  _ away _ from Brian’s ship. “You probably shouldn’t…er, what I mean to say is, the hangar is just about to be cleaned! I just remembered. We should clear out of here post-haste!”

This was a white lie, but at the moment it seemed more palatable than the truth of “If you set foot on that ship our ninja friend will spread your entrails across the hangar walls.” Sung forced a laugh as he continued to physically push Human out of the hangar.

“Er, never mind the ships for now. How’s about we go see what’s for dinner??”

Human scowled at him, but Sung answered with a disarming smile, keeping himself directly in-between Human and Brian’s ship. Human just shrugged and headed off for the doors. He flashed an ID card, which accepted him, and the door swung open.

As they escaped out of the hangar, Sung released a heavy sigh of relief. Brian probably had the damn thing booby trapped. If he didn’t, he would certainly not take to someone touching (much less taking a  _ wrench  _ to) his ship. Knives would fly, certainly.

He shook his head and dragged a hand down his face. Phobos had been right, it seemed. This human was a mystery, and attracted to peril. He needed to be protected, the poor thing.

And on that note, where in the stars was Brian??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phobos watching the human play "Take on Me" going like "What the fuck, what the fuck, what the FU-"
> 
> Meouch trying to be scary and intimidating and instead got the "bad kitty" treatment. Luckily our mysterious human didn't have a squirt bottle on hand or a real fight would have broken out.
> 
> Where IS Brian? Mostly wondering why his teammates are being so fucking weird.


	3. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Insert Perry the Platypus meme here)

The human visitor was now doing laundry.

Strive stood in the doorway, watching dumbfounded as Human patiently loaded his clothes into the wash. He was talking on his communicator as he worked, some casual conversation by the sound of it, though Strive couldn’t understand the words.

“Yeah...Yeah. Mmhm.” Human glanced up at Strive then back at the machine. “I gotta go, Strive wants something...Yeah, the blue kid. Say hi to Audrey for me. Bye.” He hung up, then turned to face Strive. “I’ll be done here in a second.”

“Th-That’s fine!” Strive yelped. “I mean, I didn’t need anything.”

Human scowled, potentially in annoyance that he had had to end his call, then went back to work. Strive continued to observe. He noticed that Human already knew where the soap was in the cabinets, and he knew to close the door extra hard and press the button twice to make it start.

Strive was trying _really_ hard to remember if he had seen this guy somewhere before. He wore a lot of black, if his laundry was any indication. He was wearing a black t-shirt right now, too. It had words on it in white text but Strive couldn’t read them. Must be a human language. Now he was pulling his other load out of the dryer, into the bin, remembering to clean the lint trap like a good roommate would.

Strive had to do it. He had to ask already.

“Um,” Strive cleared his throat, then winced as Human looked at him with an expectant expression. “So, um, I was wondering…Do you, um…” Strive gestured to him. “-live here?”

Human’s eyebrows furrowed together at the question. He looked up at Strive in full, still crouched in front of the dryer, holding his basket of fresh laundry.

“…Do I live in the laundry room?”

“No!” Strive yelped and shook his head. “I mean! Here! In the dorms?”

“…Yes.” Human tilted his head to the side, still wearing an incredulous expression. “Did you think I lived on my ship?”

“On your ship?” Strive echoed. Human straightened and rested his basket on the washer.

“My room is next to Havve’s, at the end,” he told him as he dug through his basket. Strive’s eyes creased in confusion, because he was fairly certain the people who had a room next to Havve were Sung on one side, and on the other-

Then Human fished out a pure black mask from his laundry, and pulled it down over his head.

And Strive _screamed_.

The sound had the rest of the brigade rushing into the room in three seconds flat: Meouch first from the kitchen, then Sung and Phobos, then Havve squeezing his way in behind the others in the already cramped room. Half of them had their weapons drawn, though Meouch’s was only a butter knife he had clearly been using to make a sandwich. Still, they couldn’t see any cause of alarm. Instead, they found Strive collapsed on his butt in the middle of the laundry room, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. In front of him was Ninja Brian, evidently in the middle of doing his laundry, but presently giving Strive a baffled, somewhat annoyed expression.

“Oh Brian!” Sung smiled in relief and propped his hands on his hips. “There you are! I’ve been meaning to tell you something-”

“Strive?” Phobos knelt down beside him. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s-! You-! Brian!” Strive jabbed a finger at Brian. “T-Take off your mask!”

Brian gave him an odd look, then pulled his mask up again. This time everyone in the brigade screamed, and Meouch backpedaled so fast he ran straight into the wall. Havve tilted his head to the side and made a confused beeping sound while Phobos leaned in, trying to process what he was seeing.

“…Brian?” Sung, appearing quite stunned, slowly raised both hands, speaking as if one might to a spooked animal. “Is that…you?” The man before him scowled, then glanced back over his shoulder as if there was something he was missing.

“Wait lemme try something.” Phobos grabbed one of the dryer lint balls out of the basket and lobbed it at him. Quick as a flash the ball hit the wall in two pieces. The man, definitely Brian, twirled the knife in his hand before it disappeared again. He stared back at the rest of them, then quirked an eyebrow.

“Do you…not recognize me without my mask on?”

“It covered your whole face!” Strive insisted and clutched his fists to his chest. “We were confused!”

Brian scowled, then tugged his mask back on. “Now you know.” He said, and the finality in his tone declared that the topic was over.

One person didn’t pick up on it, thought.

“Wait, Wait a sec.” Meouch looked a bit queasy all of a sudden. “Brian is a _human_?”

Brian shrugged, then walked past them all, laundry under his arm. Meouch watched him go, then his head swung around to give Sung a horrified expression.

“Brian is _human_?!” He repeated, voice cracking. Sung gave a hapless shrug in response.

“It would appear so, my friend.”

“Is that a problem?” Strive whispered. “Do you not like humans?” Meouch groaned and slumped back against the wall.

“I love humans,” he muttered, “namely, I love them with guacamole, and a cold can of beer.”

Strive’s lip curled back in disgust. “You _eat_ them?!”

“Shhh!” Meouch swatted at him. “I mean, not anymore! But I have maybe probably definitely mentioned it, potentially while he was in the room.”

“You were already on a sapient-free diet,” Sung offered. “Think of this as…extra motivation.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phobos clapped him on the shoulder. “He’s probably not going to try to kill you out of vengeance of his dead kin. Who would do something like that?”

Havve made a sad beeping noise, and Meouch winced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry Meouch. Ninja Brian cares even less about killing humans than you do.
> 
> The reason this has never happened before was Brian has multiple masks, but he hasn’t had the chance to do laundry recently, so he was washing all of them.
> 
> The entire day Brian was probably being like "Why are you all being so fucking weird?”
> 
> Meouch: Tbh I always imagined the dude was covered in scars with like, a tattoo or something, or an eyepatch.  
> Brian: ...You would see if I had an eyepatch.  
> Meouch: I dunno how many eyes you have under there!
> 
> Ok but Brian IS more chill when he doesn't have his mask on, but you can only say that to his face if he doesn't have his mask on.


End file.
